Rock-a-bye My Baby

I just finished rocking Turner to sleep... something I haven't done too often in his short life.

You see somehow in preparing to have children I brainwashed myself in to thinking I couldn't spoil them, that I had to let them learn how to sleep on their own right away - that I couldn't rock them to sleep (or they'd NEVER sleep on their own), that I couldn't create "bad" habits (b/c they'd NEVER grow out of them), that I had to train them sleep from day one (for fear that it would be too hard later)....

I still believe some of this, that it is important for them to learn to sleep on their own, however I'm getting wiser (or something like that!) and have begun to realize...

Babies have minds of their own and you can't make them do anything....

Turner is much touchier than Carter and really does what he wants and lets me know if he doesn't like my ideas or plans for his sleeping. Poor Carter fell into my sleep training trap and learned quickly to sleep on his own (without much crying mind you - I'm not a cry it out type of mom - well ok, I did use that method a few times on Carter, but I try to avoid it as much as possible!!) with him there was lots of sh-patting - a theory that involved patting him on the back and repeating sh-sh-sh over and over until he fell asleep - this worked pretty effectively on Carter - Todd even joined me in this some with Carter (he had a great shhhhh). By the time he was 3-4 mons old we could pretty much lay him in his crib (if the room was dark enough and the music was playing!) and out he went (this didn't solve our short nap issue, but that's another post). Now Turner is starting to do better with this sh-patting, but it's taken quite a bit longer (ok he's only 3.5 mons so obviously my perspective is off) and there have been many times I have HAD (very reluctantly) to pick him up and just rock or bounce him to sleep if I wanted any peace and quiet! But tonight I decided that since he was having trouble falling asleep I was just going to cuddle him and rock him and love on him and so I just rocked him and rock him for like 15 minutes (which seemed like forever) and IT WAS AWESOME!!! I so need to do it more before he gets any bigger.

Seriously, I was sitting there rocking him, looking at his sweet face thinking about how fast he's already grown up and changed before my eyes - I mean the kid practically fills up both of my arms already and he's getting HEAVY. Most of you know I'm not the biggest chica in the world - I'm not going to be able to fit him on my lap forever, he'll probably be taller than me by 2nd grade.

All this to say God opened my eyes and made me realize how fast they grow and change and how much I need to cherish each moment. I was recently asked to pray for a little boy age 7 or 8 who was diagnosed with a rare cancer of the brain stem. His parents were told he may only have 30-60 days to live. I can't even imagine how you deal with that news and how you pour all the love you have for your child into those few months.... so I've decided I need to ask myself if the T-dub or "C"man had 30-60 days left what would I do right now - you betcha I'd be rocking my baby to sleep every night and playing with tools and trucks and watching Bob the Builder non-stop.

So.... will I be sh-patting or rocking the little guy to sleep tomorrow night?? We'll see how he feels and if he needs the extra cuddles - I'm not afraid to give them to him and try to help him sleep on his own another day!

And if any of you other mommas worry about spoiling your little ones - don't forget to take time to rock your baby (or babies) every once in a while and love them like there is no tomorrow.